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Marriage Counseling & Psychotherapy
Beverly Hills and Woodland Hills, CA
David Gorton, Ph.D.
Helpful Tips for Depression, Anxiety, Communication, Choosing a Therapist
How To Choose A Therapist:
Most people find this a difficult task. Let me help by taking some of the mystery out of it.
There are two important things to consider --- credentials and how you feel about the person:
Credentials
Most people don't realize that there are four "licenses" in the State of California that qualify individuals to practice psychotherapy and this can be downright confusing, so let me help you understand what this all means.
- The marriage and family therapist license ("MFT"). This license covers a broad area in that it specifically addresses therapy with small to older children, adolescents, and adults to mature adults. It also emphasizes relationships and communication as in work with couples, families as well as with individuals.
- The licensed clinical social worker("LCSW"). Much of the emphasis here is on social work and on "clinical" work (psychotherapy) as well. The social work emphasis involves helping people find needed resources, especially if they are indigent or handicapped in some way.
- The licensed clinical psychologist. This person will have a Ph.D. or Psy. D. degree. The more common Ph.D. degree emphasizes research and testing as well as "clinical" work (psychotherapy).
- The board certified psychiatrist has gone to medical school where the emphasis is on the practice of medicine and is followed by a residency in the practice of psychiatry (psychotherapy, in effect). As a generality, the emphasis here is on psychoanalysis of the individual, often "on the couch." This person can prescribe medications since he or she has the M. D. degree (and many psychiatrists limit their practices to prescribing psychotropic medications).
About the person
While credentials are certainly important (you want the person you are seeing to be licensed), all of the above licenses allow the person to practice psychotherapy. What is of prime importance is how you feel about this person as a person.
If you do not feel comfortable with this therapist it might be the time to leave and find someone else! And I mean possibly in the first session! Many people think "well, he or she is the expert and they must know what's best for me." The therapist must be the kind of person you can relate to and who makes you feel seen and understood. Please don't accept anything short of this.
How To Deal With Depression
As a verb (to depress) the word literally means "to press down", which is what we are doing when we say we are depressed --- we are pressing down something within us instead of letting it out (typically it is some "forbidden" emotion within us).
Here are some of the ways we cause depression within ourselves and ways to change this:
A cause: Telling ourselves we are worthless, hopeless, bad, helpless, et cetera.
Possible change: Change our attitude about ourselves --- see the good in ourselves and focus on that, instead.
A cause: Not allowing ourselves to feel and express our motions
Possible change: Expression is the opposite of depression --- to remind ourselves that we were all born with our emotions (most babies cry of the minute they are born) and that it is healthy to give them expression.
A cause: Constricting our bodies, whether it be by tightening our shoulders, jaw, neck muscles, stomach, etc.
Possible change: Learn to relax our bodies. There are CDs and books on the subject. Often a massage or other forms of relaxation will help, too.
A cause: Shallow breathing (another way to hold in or depress our feelings).
Possible change: Often vigorous exercise will help, since it forces us to breathe more deeply --- even just a brisk walk around the block may help.
If you are not able to "lighten up" from your depression, please call me for a free phone consultation 818-347-2633.
How To Deal With Anxiety
A cause: "Futuristic thinking" --- getting ahead of ourselves --- worrying about the future --- in the extreme people create what I call "catastrophic fantasies" where it then feels like "the sky is falling."
Possible change: Come back to the "here and now" --- ground yourself in the present, where we actually live.
A cause: Ruminating about the past.
Possible change: Much the same as for a "futuristic thinking" above --- the past can't be changed --- it is only in the present that we have the power to change ourselves and our circumstances.
A cause: With anxiety there is some physical holding back --- it is just not as extreme as with depression.
Possible change: The same suggestions hold true as for the physical cause of depression above --- physical activity may help relieve anxiety.
If you are not able to relieve your anxiety please call me for a free phone consultation at 818-347-2633.
How To Better Communicate
If you feel that you are not communicating well with people in your life you might try some of these ideas, recognizing that communication involves both speaking and listening.
When speaking: Try to make as many "I" statements as possible, especially when in conflict with someone --- making "you" statements tends to put the other person on the defensive. Speak clearly, giving as many details as possible. It is also important to let the other person know what you are feeling emotionally about the things you're saying, especially in personal, as opposed to business, relationships.
When listening: Learn to be a better listener by becoming an "active listener". This means that don't just listen or say "I hear you", a let the other person know you have listened by feeding back to them what you think you heard them say and feel to see if you got it right.
If you need more help with your communication skills please call me for a free phone consultation at 818-347-2633.
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Dr. David Gorton, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Marriage and Family Therapist
Lic. No. MFC7027
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